The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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