a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
