i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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