hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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