so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
