my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
