I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He has the fingertips of a God
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