He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
