Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
