I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
