Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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