I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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