The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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