I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
