Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
