So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
