you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
