Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
