She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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