Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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