we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
