Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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