actually, I'm a sock model
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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