you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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