i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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