Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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