Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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