How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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