the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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