Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
