you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There r osticjed everywhere
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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