come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
