Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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