Me. At least after what I've been through.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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