This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
