kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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