I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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