her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
