Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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