and she was petting her beer can
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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