Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You are a genius and a whore.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
