shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
high people should be assigned attendants
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
