I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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