please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
