Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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