She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
