So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
