If i come over, it means nothing
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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