Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
