If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
