Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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